i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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