I molested 6 butterflies tonight
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
