Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
