How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
