I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
