Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
