i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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