Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
