You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
