I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i drank out of a bidet.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The adults are the big ones right?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
