I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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