flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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