Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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