She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
