But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
