Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
