Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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