well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
