I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
