38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Randomize