Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
