Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
