apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You don't make any sense
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