Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
