i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize