I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize