Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
