you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
