rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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