Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
