I faked an abortion last night.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
