Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm passing your future prison.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
