Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
