Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Buhtt sex?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
