I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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