I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
