well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
