i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
