flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
