I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
how does that bad decision feel?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
