Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
