I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
