2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
