sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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