Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
