If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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