tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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