dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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