Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
