Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
