Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
