We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
