He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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