just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
