We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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