So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
