hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
