I faked an abortion last night.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
