He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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