i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
