Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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