You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
