thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
