I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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