Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
