the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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