His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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