She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
