Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
