At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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