My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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