Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
They took my balls.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
