Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Please don't give away my fajitas
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