I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
