Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize