It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
this just has baby written all over it
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize